Being in a relationship takes a lot of work — which an understatement in itself. You can improve the quality of your relationship/marriage by fine tuning your choice of words when you communicate. The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D. has helped many couples stay married & stay connected.
- Enhance Your Love Map
- Nurture Your Fondness andAdmiration
- Turn Towards Each Other Instead of Away
- Let Your Partner Influence You
- Solve Your Solvable Problems
- Overcome Gridlock
- Create Shared Meaning
Some practical tips on starting a conversation with your partner:
Depressed? Anxious? Stressed out and tired of feeling this way? Choose to be happy starting with these 4 coping strategies:
- Set positive intentions for the day: waking up can be a drag, especially when feeling depressed. Start your morning with positive intentions and positive thoughts; think of small goals you’d like to accomplish. It could be as simple as, “I am going to get up and make my bed,” to “I am going to that yoga class,” to “I will eat a healthy breakfast.” When you get into the habit of setting positive intentions at the start of your day, you’re more likely to feel happier; you begin to create a life with meaning & purpose.
- Reframe your thought process: it’s so easy to fall into the negative cycle of defeating self-talk like, “I can’t do this,” and “I am not good enough.” Begin to be mindful of your automatic thoughts & reframe these thoughts into positive statements, “I can and will get this done,” and “I am good enough.” Thinking the complete opposite of the negative thought will help change your perspective about yourself — it will slowly elevate your mood & boost your self-esteem.
- Practice gratitude: when depressed, we tend to overlook the small things in life. Begin noticing what you are grateful for — that the sun is up, that you are alive, you have a bed to sleep in, you have some form of technology to be reading this post. Grateful people tend to be more happier than those who take things for granted. Start a gratitude list & challenge yourself to list at least 3 things you are grateful for each day.
- Go outside & start moving: depression can lead to isolation and withdrawal. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do when depressed — we tend to stay in bed or on the couch, and have have the curtains shut. Reframe and challenge your negative thoughts & get some sun. Put on those shoes and go for a mindful walk. Purposefully pay attention to what’s around you, what you see, smell, hear, and feel. Getting your body moving helps release those happy feelings & endorphins. Only you can do this for yourself. You are worth it!